The Paper Caper
by Dimonah Tralon
Summary: I run into a certain Pirate Captain as I try to get a sheet of paper.


A/N: This is not meant to be taken seriously. Hence why it's under the humor category. The reason I wrote this is because I asked a guy to a Sadie Hawkins' dance that is coming up. Unfortunately, I only had one sheet of green paper (his favorite color) on which to print out the invitation. I messed up on it, but didn't discover that until _after_ I had printed it out. So, I fixed the problem and reprinted it on the other side. I wanted to give a reason why I used the same sheet of paper. I came up with the story that you can read below. Hope you enjoy!

Okay, so the reason I couldn't print the invitation out on another sheet of green paper, is that I didn't _have_ another sheet of green paper. It was hard enough to get this one. Here's the story:

I heard from a _very_ reliable source that Captain Jack Sparrow had a whole room _full_ of green paper on the _Black Pearl_. (Now, why Jack had a room full of green paper is beyond me.) So, I decided that he wouldn't mind if I took just _one_ sheet. To be on the safe side, I snuck onto the _Pearl_ in the dead of the night (before curfew), found the room, picked the lock, and opened the door.

It was pitch black inside. I slipped in quietly and closed the door. Then, I took out my mini flashlight, and turned it on. There, before my very eyes, were stacks upon stacks of green things! Not just paper, but shirts, pants, shoes, pens, rope, and even a green anchor. _What, does Jack have a secret obsession with green? _I grabbed a single sheet of paper and left.

Pretty simple, right? Wrong. When I walked out of the room, I ran smack-dab into Jack. _This cannot be good,_ I thought to myself. I hid the green piece of paper behind my back, hopping that Jack wouldn't see it. He probably wouldn't like it if he caught me "borrowing" something from his ship without his permission.

"Now what's a pretty little thing like ye doing aboard me ship, hmm?" Jack asked.

"Oh, well, I saw that the _Pearl _was docked at the Idaho Harbor, and I thought that I would just, you know, take a look around. I've heard so many stories about the most feared pirate ship in the Spanish Main." (A/N: I know that Idaho doesn't have a harbor. It's landlocked, for crying out loud. I was trying to be funny.)

"Not just the Spanish Main, luv. The entire ocean…the entire world!" Jack said, accompanied by his typical hand-waving. "But tha's not the point."

"And what is the point, Captain Sparrow?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The point is, luv, is that yer trespassin' on me ship. And yer trying to take somethin' that don't belong to ye."

"It's only one sheet of paper, Captain. And besides, why do you have a room full of green stuff anyways?"

"Barbossa left it. I haven't gotten around to cleaning it out yet."

"So then why should you care if I take one sheet of paper?"

"Because if I let ye take that 'one sheet of paper', then ye'll go around tellin' everyone that you stole from Captain Jack Sparrow. And I can't have ye doin' that, savvy?"

"I swear on pain of death, Captain, that I won't tell anyone." I promised.

"I can't take that risk, luv."

"But I _need_ this sheet of paper!" I pleaded. Jack just shook his head. Suddenly, I had an idea. "Look! Evil demon monkey!" I yelled, pointing over Jack's left shoulder.

Jack turned. "Where?"

The moment he turned around, I bolted for the gangplank. I made it down and ran as fast as I could back towards campus. A shot rang out. I stopped and turned around. "When you've only got one shot, it's best to wait for the opportune moment! That wasn't it!" I yelled, laughing. "Sucker!"

"That's where you're wrong, luv!" came the reply. "I have more than one shot!" Another shot rang out.

I cried out in surprise and started running again. Yet another shot rang out, and I instinctively ducked.

I finally made it back to campus about 5 minutes later. I made it back just as they closed the door, right at midnight. I had made it back before curfew.

It wasn't until I got inside my room, that I noticed the bullet hole at the top of the page. "Aww, bloody heck!" I yelled, startling Brooke. (A/N: Brooke is my roommate.)

"'Sup with you, foo'?" she asked.

I told Brooke what had happened. When I finished, she gave me a really weird look.

"Actually, I just gave that piece of paper to you, and you cut a hole in it," she said.

I blinked. "Oh, yeah," I said. "But I like my story better."

So, that's what happened. Honestly. Oh, and don't even get me started on where I got the frog picture.


End file.
